Four Weeks
by EmmyLou74
Summary: It's been four weeks since Kensi's abrupt departure and Deeks is finding it tough without her. Please read and review! My first fan fic so go easy on me! Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS: Los Angeles or any of it's characters. If I did Deeks and Kensi would still be at his place.
1. Chapter 1

It had been four weeks since he had last seen her smile, heard her laugh...When Deeks had walked back into Ops to find his partner had be ripped away from him, he hadn't known whether to laugh, cry or shoot something. And Deeks was finding four weeks was an eternity without Kensi. Is this how she had felt when he had shut her and the world out all those months ago? Every day seemed a little longer without his partner...and girlfriend. The word made him smile.

A smile that wasn't missed by his fellow team member. The sound of Sam laughing interrupted Deeks from delving further in his own thoughts.

"Day dreaming about a scooby snack, Shaggy."

"You could say that." Deeks shot back with a lazy smile.

"I don't even wanna know what you mean by that." Callen said with a grimace.

Normally this is where Kensi would laugh loudly and join in on her favourite pastime, making fun of Deeks. The thought made his heart ache. He eyes lingered on her currently empty desk. Out of the corner of his eye he saw both Sam and Callen watching him. He hit the save button on his finished report and getting up, grabbed his bag.

"That's me done guys, I'm gonna call it a day."

Sam watched him carefully as if trying to decide whether to say something. He shook his head, obviously deciding against it.

"Sure thing, see you tomorrow Deeks."

He headed straight back to his apartment. He flopped on the couch, Monty jumping up beside him. As Deeks pulled out the Knife from his pocket he thought back to the conversation that had led to it ending up in his possession. "Sometimes a knife is just a knife" she had said but he knew better. Despite what he had said to Hetty this wasn't just any knife. It had been her dad's.

The silence was deafening. Deeks now avoided any reality tv show and romantic comedies, it only reminded him of nights watching them with Kensi when they had been just partners with an unspoken "thing". This meant the TV stayed off. Later, he was driven from his own bed by the now faint smell of sunshine and gunpowder, of the missing warmth on the right side of the bed 'cause yeah even after only one night he considerd it her side of the bed.

Before he had described it to Nate that it was as though his thoughts had been put in a blender. This time it felt like he was drowning in them. As he lay back on the couch his mind wouldn't shut off. The first time they met in a sweaty gym, their first undercover kiss, pulling Kensi from a room full of lasers, Kensi's face when he woke up from surgery, their first real kiss. Now the darkness was swallowing him up and the nightmares were re emerging. The sound of his gun clattering to the ground as he dove into that pool after Sam, Kensi's beautiful mismatched eyes, watching as they tortured Sam in the next room, Kensi's goofy laugh, his own breathing as he tried to keep calm even though he was anything but, Kensi's smile, the sound of the drill, Kensi's piglet snores, the taste of blood and pain, Kensi's lips, the sounds of his own screams, Kensi, Kensi, Kensi., Kensi...He jolted awake. When had he drifted off? It was still dark. The word 'indefinitely' seemed to resound in the quiet apartment...

"Button up, Mr Deeks. It's cold out there."


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favoured, followed and took the time to read the first chapter! You guys are awesome. And a huge thank you to JKO73 for enduring my terrible grammar mistakes and all her encouragement, you are all kinds of fantastic! If you haven't read her stories yet, you are missing out. This probably only going to be a two parter but I may continue with a sequel of sorts. Enjoy and don't forget to review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles or it's characters...but it's on my list to Santa.**

Deeks groaned in protest as he dragged himself from bed, careful not to disturb the slumbering dog currently taking over the centre of the bed. Usually he would have been up at least an hour before, got in a morning run and walked Monty. Usually he would be waiting for Kensi to pick him up.

Sam could see Deeks digressing. Kensi's departure was not agreeing with the detective. He knew something had happened between the two before she had been reassigned. If their weird behaviour that morning hadn't given them away, their actions during the case had. Deeks was never early to work. And since when did he avoid eye contact with Kensi or become speechless when an opportunity to embarass her arose. Especially when it was a chance to tease his partner about wearing the same shirt two days in a row. Unless... Yep, something had definitely happened. He knew they had a thing. Sam laughed to himself, everyone did. He knew that the two had been close, even closer since the Sidorov case. And if he was right about what he thought was going on between Kensi and Deeks, well he knew how Deeks was feeling.

He wasn't questioning Deeks field performance, the man was a professional. Lately he seemed even more serious...No that was the wrong word. It was just that Deeks didn't seem to joke as much. He still never stopped talking but it seemed more forced. He saw that Deeks was starting to struggle again. Sam thought back to that hospital room. He had never seen Deeks look that vunerable before. The way he fidgeted, not knowing what to do with his hands to the way he avoid eye contact with Sam. He had meant what he said. Deeks was going to make a great agent. He had misjudged him. They were complete opposites but that wasn't nessecarily a negative. He made the team better. He was family.

Sam was feeling the loss of Kensi's presence too. They all were. There was a reason that there were an elite team. And now they were missing an element. They were missing a family member already. He'd be damned if he let Deeks get lost again. It was time to say something.

He found Deeks in the gym. Deeks was packing a powerful punch, maybe a little more than neccesary. Lost his own world where nothing but the punching bag in front of him existed. Not his pounding headache. Not the ache in his muscles ...and heart. Not his unwanted mermories. Nope, just him and the bag. And the large ex-seal in the doorway.

Deeks nodded in aknowledgment.

"What no burrito this morning?" Sam joked.

Deeks kept his jumping from foot to foot, his jabs meeting their mark as he replied.

"Nah, man." He said, slightly out of breathe. "Not in the mood for Mexican today."

He stilled the punching bag with his gloved hands and turned to face Sam with a grin. Sam shook his head and took a seat on the pressing bench behind the now sweaty detective. He hadn't missed the dark shaows under Deeks' eyes. Deeks turned back to his workout.

Sam cleared his throat causing Deeks to turn his attention back to him, eyebrows raised. He decided to get straight to the point.

"We all miss her, Deeks."

The detective opened his mouth to reply with a smart comment and found he couldn't. He stared at Sam and then at the ground.

"It's just... I mean she's my partner..." Deeks trailed off.

"It's tough when someone you care about is gone for god knows how long without any explanation." Sam said in a comforting tone.

Deeks dragged his eyes back up to see Sam looking at him with ... understanding.

He began to stumble over excuses. "Yeah...eh because...you know...Of course. She's my partner..." he finished lamely. Oh Kensi was gonna kill him if she thought he was talking about this with the team, when they themselves were still trying to figure this out.

Sam put up his hand to stop him.

"I don't know exactly what is going on or what happened with you two. But I know_ something_ did." He looked pointedly at Deeks, who though flustered kept his gaze on Sam steady.

"And you don't have to tell me anything but I just want you to know this. I've been here." He paused. "Where you are now."

"On numberous occasions." he said with the tilt of his head and wry smile. Deeks smiled faintly, waiting for the other man to continue. Sam was looking at his hands.

"When I first met Michelle I knew it was gonna be tough. We worked together and our work was...still is ... dangerous." He said any hint of humour gone as he thought of his wife. "The first time Michelle went on a assignment without me, I thought I was losing my mind."

Deeks had known_ that_ feeling before.

"I couldn't stop thinking about where she might be. If she was ok. Who was watchin' her back." Sam looked up to meet Deeks' eyes.

"And when she was coming back." He paused. "Sometimes that's the hardest part, the indefinite part."

Deeks finally found his voice. "How'd you deal with it?" He asked Sam softly. It was though if he said it quiet enough he wasn't actually admitting anything.

"I just kept going." Sam stated simply. Deeks looked at him with disbelief. He almost snorted. "_That was the Seal's advice. Suck it up."_ He thought.

"I got up. I went to the gym. I went to work. I went out with the guys after work. It wasn't easy. Somedays I was so angry...but I did it because that's what Michelle needed me to do. When Kensi gets home, she's gonna need her partner. You know Kensi. She'd never say it but it'll be your turn to be her anchor. You need to be strong for _when _she comes back."

Deeks frowned at Sam. "_Of course, he was always there for her."_

He opened his mouth to say as much before Sam interrupted him.

"Just take it one day at a time."

"Sitting at home is not going to bring her back any sooner. So tonight you are coming out with me and G, no excuses. And then tomorrow you are bringing that mutt you call a dog for a walk. He's put a stone on... at least."

Deeks laughed. "Ok...but don't let Monty hear you say that. He's very sensitive about his figure."

Sam smiled, got up and clapped Deeks on the shoulders as he walked past.

Deeks sat down on the bench Sam had left vacant.

"Enough." Deeks said to nobody. "Enough now." He removed the boxing gloves and tossed them back in his gym bag.

Sam was right when Kensi got back from this assignment, she was going to need him. Her partner, her best friend and her boyfriend. It wasn't him that had been uprooted and thurst into unknown circumstances, though it felt like part of him had gone with her. He could do this for her. He would not let her come home to him falling apart like this. Because although he didn't know when, Kensi would be back. Besides hadn't he promised her he would be patient. And so he would.

He bent down to pick up his bag and made his way out of the gym.

"One day at a time, Fern,. One day at a time."


	3. Chapter 3

**Belated Happy New Year, may it be wonderful and Densi filled (she says biting her nails in slightly worried anticipation). Thanks for the follows, favourites and reviews! You guys are the best. And finally, here is chapter 3 in celebration of Deeks' birthday next week! You know what to do, reviews will make me update faster! Two words, a few lines or an essay, all reviews are appreciated!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS: Los Angeles but I'm working on it, even if Santa did forget to put Deeks under my tree :(**

"Happy Birthday to me..." Deeks mumbled as he pushed Monty's wet nose and slobbering face away from his own. Sleepily, he flung his arm out on to the empty right hand side of the bed and sighed. Her scent was completely gone but Deeks could still picture her sleeping form beside him. It had been two weeks since he had last spoken to Kensi and he had been playing their conversation over and over in his head ever since. "Me and ...ummmm the guys miss you too."

Looking back, he wished he'd had the courage to say, "I miss you." But his brain hadn't been working properly. He winced as he remember his words "I'm strong...to moderately...I'm moderately strong.." Finally, he'd had a chance to talk to her. And that is what comes out of his big, stupid mouth. Kensi hadn't seemed to notice his ridiculous comment, he could almost hear her watery smile. He closed his eyes and did what he now did every morning, pictured his partner's radiant smile and her obnoxious laugh.

"One day at a time." He said to the dog, who was happily wagging his tail and trying to climb back on top of his owner. "And I thought my last birthday sucked."

He arrived at the bullpen to find it empty, no Sam or Callen in sight. Even Hetty's desk was vacant this morning. In before Sam Hanna, huh?

Deeks found his eyes wandering toward the Box, that still occupied the space above the cupboard. His present from last year that he had yet to open. Absentmindly, his hand glanced over the Knife he always kept in his pocket. The sound of a party horn interrupted his thoughts. Deeks looked up in surprise to find Eric, donning a party hat. "You're presence is required, my dear Detective."

Grinning Deeks bounded up the stairs. Upon entering Ops, Deeks was greeted by his missing colleagues each wearing their own party hat. His gaze fell on Callen, who looked utterly unimpressed. "Happy Birthday, man." He said shaking Deeks' hand and turned to Sam. "Can I take this off now?" he motioned to his head. Sam shook his head wordless, a giant grin on his face. Deeks couldn't help but laugh.

"Suits you, G." Sam replied. "Dam straight!" Deeks added.

Callen rolled his eyes and removed the hat as though it held a deadly virus.

"Happy Birthday, Shaggy!" Sam smiled widely stepped forward, clapping Deeks on the shoulder.

Deeks returned the smile and before he opened his mouth to reply, he had the wind knocked out of him by Nell and her bear grip. Dam, she might be small but Deeks' reminded himself to stay on her good side as he returned the hug.

"Thanks, guys..." He said a little awkwardly as Nell stepped back. "And here I was thinking I was in before you guys...again."

Sam raised his eyebrow, while G simply smirked. Realising his mistake, Deeks tried to back track.

"No, I was only in early that day because...I uh...and my alarm.." He stuttered as he raised his hand to the back of his head.

"Uh huh." Callen choked back a laugh.

"Yeah, so where's my birthday cake?" He asked. Kensi tactics 101, change the subject. Quickly.

"Yes, yes. Happy Birthday indeed Mr. Deeks." Hetty interrupted slightly put out by the blonde detectives rambling. "However, we have a case so birthday celebrations will have to wait."

They all turned their attention to the screen. Deeks chuckled to himself and forced himself to look forward. It sure was difficult to take Sam seriously with a sparkly hat on.

As the three men made their way back into bullpen, Deeks found himself remembering his last birthday. Only Hetty had remembered. The entire day he had dropped hints to Kensi, believing her blaise attitude to be a cover. He wished she were here right now, forgetting his birthday. It was better than no Kensi. He had been truly surprised, and a just tinsy bit hurt, that she had actually forgotten. But she had outdone herself with the Box...or had she? Maybe it was time to see if Bad Ass Byle was always right.

Without realising it he has wandered to his desk, Callen and Sam hadn't seemed to notice him zoning out.

"Seriously, G, I'm gonna start thinking you keep a record of all the times you saved my ass."

"I should, maybe then you'd appreciate me more."

"I still say I bailed you out enough times..."

"Deeks?" Uh oh, the detective did not wanna get pulled into this one.

"Hmmm..." Deeks replied reluctantly.

"In all the time..." Callen continued.

"Ahem, gentlemen." Hetty's voice had never sounded so good.

"Good job today. You'll be happy to know that the information has been secured and the General sends his utmost gratitude." She finished with a smile. "Now, if I'm not mistaken we have a celebration to continue with. I'm sure reports can wait until tomorrow." She looked directly at Deeks. "Happy Birthday, Mr Deeks. Go enjoy yourself!"

"I don't remember getting special treatment on my birthday." Sam interjected.

"But this morning was your idea. And now you're moping because we get off paperwork on someone, other than your, birthday?" Callen asked incredulously. "You made me wear a hat, Sam. I don't do hats."

"I always knew I was your favourite." Deeks replied looking to Hetty, who sighed heavily but smiled.

"Drinks on Sam. Nell and Eric said they'd follow." Callen said steering Deeks from his desk with a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey now, I never said..." Sam trailed behind them.

"No, no, no Mister lover of birthdays..."

Hetty watched fondly as the three men leave the building. The small woman looked to the top of the cupboard, which held the Box. She smiled to herself. After all, Hetty knows all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all your kinds words, and thanks to all who followed, favourited and read this story. Sorry to keep you all waiting! Finally inspiration and an update. Enjoy guys! Please Read and don't forgot to R****eview! ****Seriously they really help ;)**This is a little fluffy but in this dark time we need that. Especially after that spoiler for episode 15. Team Deeks!

These never ending reports were gonna be the death of him. All he wanted to do was go home and fall into a deep sleep. Well what he really wanted was his partner back but somethings weren't possible, at least right now. His mind began to drift. His daydreams sometimes included a log cabin, a hot tub and snow boarding. Other times they included an exotic, sandy beach and a surf board. They always included Kensi Blye. As if on cue his current daydream was interrupted by the sound of a ringing phone. He jumped up and pulled open the drawer, picking up the source of said ringing.

He let out a deep breath and answered.

"Hey there, Sunshine." If anyone asked he would never admit that he practiced that on numerous occasions.

"Hey Deeks." He could hear the smile in her voice. And when he closed his eyes he could see it.

"You still at work?'

"Uh yeah..." He attempted to sit down, almost missing the chair. Apparently he was not as smooth as he thought. Kensi had a way of turning him into a fumbling mess.

"Deeks?"

'Yeah, Kens."

"I'm sorry I couldn't call you on your birthday. I wish I could explain. I wish ... I just wish.." Her voice caught in her throat as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

"Hey, hey.." He sat forward. "I know, Kens. I know." He dragged his hand over his face. This call was just reminding him how unfair this whole situation was, how far apart they were... as if he needed reminding. He glanced at the empty desk across from Sam's.

"Did you do anything?" She asked, her voice rose as she attempted to raise the mood of their conversation. She didn't want to spend these rare moments they had together wallowing. No matter how much hearing his voice but being unable to see or touch him made her heart ache, in ways she hadn't known were possible.

"Uh yeah." He said catching on to Kensi's train of thought. He tore his eyes away from her cluttered desk, focusing instead on the sound of her voice. "Me and the guys went for drinks. Sam challenged G to a game of pool over who was footing the bill."

Kensi laughed. "Who won? No wait, let me guess! Sam? No, no. Callen!"

The sound of her laughter made his heart skip a beat. "Do you think Callen indulged him? Nah, instead they chose to bicker like the old married couple they are." She heard the grin in his voice.

"I can only imagine. " She chuckled.

"Eric may have had a couple of drinks too many, all in all it was a good night."

"I'm glad." She replied.

"There _was_ one thing missing though..."

"Oh yeah, what was that?" Her heart speed up.

"Well... they don't allow dogs in the bar. I explained Monty was a trained poilice dog but they weren't buying it."

"Really?' She laughed at her goofy partner.

"I wish you were here." He said suddenly."Even if it was just to forget my birthday... again." He couldn't help but add in a jesting tone.

"I ...er...Deeks.. I ... I got you a present _which _you have never opened!" She exclaimed.

"Yeah, you did." He nodded even though she couldn't see him. He glanced at the Box still sitting on the cupboard.

"You know, I am sorry about last year." She said awkwardly. "And I was gonna make it up to you this year..."

"Now that sounds interesting..." He interrupted.

"Deeks..." She warned but her soft tone let him know it was more habit than a serious caution.

"Maybe you should describe exactly _how _you were going to make it up to me?" he teased.

Kensi sighed. She missed this. She would have given anything to see the cheeky smile she knew he was wearing right now. Maybe it was the fact she couldn't that gave her the courage to say what came out of her mouth next.

"Or maybe I'll just show you when I get back."

'I..." Deeks spluttered. Had she really just said that? Only dream Kensi said things like that. And he was definitely awake, right? She laughed at her now speechless partner. _Come on, Deeks, now would be a good time to reply._ He thought to himself.

"That works too. I'm gonna hold you to that." He finally found the words.

_Ok, this was happening._ She had wanted to say this on their last call and but hadn't. Now was as good a time as any.

"Deeks, when I asked you to be patient... I didn't mean _this._"

"Kensi." He stopped her. "We'll figure this out. It's you and me. We always do. In fact, I'm pretty sure we are."

Hearing his words, her heart soared.

"Yeah, we are." She agreed.

She took a deep breath. "I miss my boyfriend."

She heard his intake of breath. "I miss my girlfriend."

From the corner of her eye, Kensi saw Granger motion for her to finish up. This was her least favourite part.

"Deeks, I'm sorry...I have to... "

"Go." He finished. He hated this part.

"Call when you can." He said solemnly.

"Yeah I will. By the way, that suit looked really good."

"Oh you thought so?"

"Ah huh."

"Well you looked pretty good yourself."

'Yeah I thought it was only fair." She chuckled.

"Be careful, Kens."

"Always, partner. Bye"

As he hung up, he stared at the SAT phone. Sam chose that moment to walk ito the bullpen but Deeks didn't seem to notice. He took in the detective's face and the phone in his hand.

"Deeks?'

He jerked his head up at the sound of Sam's voice.

"Hmmm.." he said his mind still on the converstion that had just taken place.

"You good?" The familar words got his full attention. He looked up at Sam's concerned face. To the Seal's suprise, Deeks' face broke into a huge grin.

"Yeah, I'm good. I'm really good."


End file.
